


You are my Umbrella

by Nej_Illjuna



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Conversations, Communication Failure, Complicated Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Issues, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Rivalry, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Peer Pressure, Personal Growth, Room of Requirement Shenanigans, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-22 11:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nej_Illjuna/pseuds/Nej_Illjuna
Summary: Wooyoung doesn't know much about magic when he first comes to Hogwarts. Sadly, judging by his marks, he didn't learn a lot here either. What he did know, however, was that Choi San, model student from a powerful family, is always there, shining like the brightest star. So close he feels like he could almost reach him, so far he would burn simply trying.San knows things. Answers to the tests, how to ruin someone, how to please his parents. He knows how he is supposed to act, what he is supposed to think. He doesn't know why a certain boy from Gryffindor keeps coming into his life and why he can't ignore it as he should.Years go by, as they try to forget and learn.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 18
Kudos: 56





	1. Wooyoung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a big Woosan fic ! I don't know what it is about those two that always ends up taking ages, but here we are.  
> The POV will be alternating between Wooyoung and San each chapter, it shouldn't be confusing.  
> I already have some chapters written, but further updates might be slow to come because life. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway :D  
> Let the magic begin !

Wooyoung was huffing, struggling to drag his heavy trolley through King's Cross. Sometimes, he tended to forget how fastidious a muggle's life could be. Sure, he only spent a year in Hogwarts. And, sure, he had been raised as a muggle, just like his parents, without even the knowledge of some kid level card trick. But damn if he didn't want to wingardium leviosa his luggage right now.

"Stop being such a drama queen", Jongho sighed, at his side, pulling his load without any apparent effort. His neighbor was smaller, but his strength wasn't.

"Me ?  _ I _ 'm the drama queen ?! Wow, I can't believe it. Which one of us spent all summer whining "I want to be in Gryffindor" ? Was it me ? I don't think so."

"You didn't even know what was Gryffindor last year !" complained Jongho, dragging Wooyoung's trolley up the stairs with his free hand without breaking a sweat. "I can't help it if my mom told me about it. You would've cried so much if you knew !" 

"Would not ! Shut up !" he flushed, embarrassed. "Respect your elders."

"You're only in year two, don't play the elder card !" 

"Well you're a first year student so it's still true !"

"Well, I don't care what you say", he asserted, going through the wall marked 9 ¾ without hesitation, irritating Wooyoung even more. "You're always wrong anyway. That's what your dad told mine and then he told me."

Wooyoung thinned his lips together, feeling a different sense of shame creeping on his cheeks. He knew it was true. He messed up a lot, and when his family and his neighbors met, his clumsiness always seemed to come on the table. He was always doing his best, though.

"Your dad's stupid", he muttered, looking down, hand gripping the trolley's handle a bit harder. 

" _ You're _ stupid-"

Jongho tripped on a stray rope, sending a small mountain of luggage to come crashing down on the busy station platform. He barely had the time to find his balance again when a shout made them jump. 

"The hell are you doing ?!" 

They turned to a group of students, way older than they were, way angrier too. 

"Look at what you've made !" said a girl, pointing at the mess.

"You think that because you're young you can knock out other people's stuff ?" barked a guy twice their size, pushing a frozen Jongho's shoulder. Wooyoung's blood ran cold, grabbing his wrist and taking his place in front of them. 

"Don't touch him, he didn't do it on purpose", he asserted in a voice a bit weaker than he intended. 

"You're giving us orders now ? Please, you're like, five", snickered the girl. 

"He might have broken some of our stuff, he could at least clean it up."

"Yeah, that's some basic respect, and he's still there not saying anything."

"It's like he doesn't even care !" 

Wooyoung quickly looked behind him, finding Jongho stunned by the onslaught of shouts. He swallowed, facing them again. 

"He didn't do it on purpose", he repeated, more assured this time. "Leave him alone."

"Wow, so scary…" 

"What are you gonna do ? Cry really hard ?" 

"It's like the new kids get dumber every year."

"And the stupid one at the back, still not moving ! Hey, midget, my cauldron is still on the ground !" 

"What is he waiting for, an invitation ? Move !" 

"Yeah", gritted out Wooyoung. "We're moving alright."

He turned his back to them, pushing Jongho away with him towards their trolleys. But someone grabbed his neighbor by the collar, choking him briefly, and Wooyoung barely registered it before launching himself at the culprit, elbow aiming right at the stomach. He felt himself get lifted up, and sent kicks flying everywhere blindly, before a new voice ringed above the others, higher. He got dropped on the ground, taking a few seconds to process anything.

"... destroyed our luggage", complained loudly one of the aggressors. 

"And that makes it okay to bully pre-teens ?" 

The voice was so cold it put out any flame in their hearts. Wooyoung searched around him to find a kid his age standing near him. He was, for lack of a better term, stunning. Wooyoung felt stunned anyway. If the fall didn't cut his breath, it surely would have been right now. He wasn't tall, but his prestance made him somehow bigger than everyone here. His robes, clearly very high quality, only made him look more composed. His soft hair was parted on the side, black with streaks of red, revealing two sharp eyes freezing everything in their sight. Wooyoung already saw him before, his high, sharp cheekbones, sharp nose, sharp jaw - that would explain why he felt a bit shredded every time he looked at him.

"We weren't bullying anyone, it's that little sh- I mean- He hit us first", bargained the girl.

"I'm sure your father would be quite disappointed to hear that you have to resort to lying to hide your deviant ways", calmly said San, and the girl shrank. "What about you, Peter Shawk ? I heard your sister really needs that subvention from the ministry. It would be a shame if word came out that she was associated with a delinquent. Surely, you don't want that to happen. Please think more about your actions." 

One of them seemed to try to protest, but he was quickly shut down with a "It's Choi San, don't talk back !", and they immediately scrambled, taking with them the spilled supplies. Eyes wide open, Wooyoung stared at San. San stared back, and he should have been freezing, but he felt comfortably warm.

“... Hi”, he tried, without really understanding why he was trying to strike up a conversation.

San blinked, briefly checked his surroundings, and extended a hand to help him get up.

“Hello. Don’t stay on the ground. It’s dirty.”

Wooyoung took his hand, got up, and San didn’t let go, so he didn’t either, but then he ripped his hand away, breaking eye contact, and the young wizard felt a wave of shame and awkwardness run over him.

“My name is Wooyoung”, he said, desperate to find anything that could make that feeling go away.

“I know”, he answered, and, yeah, he knew those guys by name too, that seemed logical. “I’m Choi San.”

“Well, nice to meet you !” he smiled sincerely. “Thank you for helping us.”

“I… didn’t”, he almost stuttered, turning his neck away to avoid facing him. “They were being a nuisance.”

“I like the way you talk. It’s like in books, it’s pretty.”

And yes, Wooyoung could see why his father was always complaining about how dumb he was. Because clearly, San was uncomfortable, and yet he managed to make things even weirder. When the poor boy just saved him from a beating. He braced himself for a swift rejection, but instead, San froze, and a shade of red crept up on his ears and cheeks. They stood like that, perfectly motionless in the surrounding chaos, Wooyoung desperately trying to understand what was happening and why it was happening. He must have been embarrassed by that poor excuse of a compliment. Maybe he thought he made fun of him. That was probably the case. It wasn’t his intention, and he should definitely apologise.

“I- I’m sorry”, he tried, and he wanted to say more, but he would’ve probably messed up even more badly if he did.

“If someone bothers you again, come to find me”, San finally said, still looking away, eyes roaming the crowd. “I’ll help you. For real this time.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry for me or stuff like that, I don’t want to be a burden or anything…”

“It’s fine”, San frowned. “Really.”

“But-”

Suddenly, San’s eyes widened, and he turned back instantly, shooting a quick “Goodbye” before disappearing between two groups of friends. Wooyoung stood there, his hand tingling a bit. Even though he was left alone so abruptly, there was something warm in his chest.

“Wow, I can’t believe that just happened.”

Jongho’s voice right behind him made him jump. Right, he was still there. He kind of… forgot for a second. He turned back to him, feeling terribly lost, and having only a very limited understanding of what exactly just unfolded.

“What ?” he decided to say, in hopes that maybe, he would break it down for him.

“What what ? Choi San just came in, saved our asses-”

“Language.”

“-and then talked to you and even touched you ? What’s going on ? Do you know him and you just told me nothing ??”

“Why… Why is that such a big deal ? I mean it’s really cool that he came to help-”

“Well because he’s Choi San ?”

Wooyoung blinked.

“So ? He’s… rich or something ? Why are you acting weird and why do you know him ?”

“Uhm, he’s only the heir of one of the most powerful pure-blood family ? Hello ? Were you even in Hogwarts last year or did you straight sleep through it ?”

“I just- I don’t care about all that stuff”, he tried to justify. “It’s dumb anyway.”

“Well dumb or not dumb he is NOT supposed to talk to you”, Jongho asserted. “You’re like, the lowest you can get while still being a wizard in terms of status. His family is crazy obsessed about that kind of things. If they saw that, or someone that wanted to fuck-

“LANGUAGE-”

“-his reputation up, that would be bad for him. Like, I don’t know what he thinks about it, because, well, he  _ touched you _ , but, yeah, maybe you shouldn’t go and talk to him casually out in the open like that. And I’m not even talking about your grades, because he’s an elite, and that’s not mixing well with what you have.”

“... But he said I should ask him for help if I need to”, argued Wooyoung, feeling very small.

“Maybe he was just being polite ?”

Wooyoung walked up to his luggage, his stomach twisting weirdly. Weird. Everything was weird that morning. It was weird to fight older students, it was weird to be defended by San, it was weird to see him up close, it was weird to hold his hand and- he pulled away so fast. The squeezing in his guts intensified. He clearly didn’t want this. It wasn’t going to happen again, so he should get over it.

“Yeah, you’re right”, he breathed out, embarking for his second year with his neighbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for giving this fic a chance~  
> If you enjoyed it, don't forget to bookmark it or subscribe so you won't miss the updates ! (Or even leave a kudo or a comment, it always makes my day and gives me energy to write again)


	2. San

San looked down, perfectly still. Around him, students and their families were laughing, screaming, reaching out for their loved ones in a goodbye or a welcome back. He didn’t want to get involved. It was messy, loud, and most of all, undignified. The exact opposite of what he liked - that is to say, what his parents liked. He could feel their stares on his bent neck. He could make out the scene of a fifth year hugging his mother on his right, and his heart squeezed a little. Maybe if he worked hard enough, he could earn this.

“They aren’t this late, usually”, said his father in his back.

“I heard they had to attend some business before coming here, maybe they were set back”, mused his mother.

San crumpled his robes absentmindedly. He didn’t like that they were late either. Usually, the other family would come, and while the adults talked about mundane subjects, him and their son would sneak out and turn a very stressful and boring situation into something enjoyable. Hongjoong had been by his side for every step of his life, for as long as he could remember. Every celebration, every meeting, every holiday and stolen afternoons. When he wasn’t there, he felt like he was missing a part of himself. His best friend had sometimes been the only thing making him want to get up in the morning. And right now, he really wanted him to be there.

“Ah, there they are.”

San’s head snapped back up, his face briefly lighting up before he managed to get stoic again. Hongjoong was walking through the crowd, chin high and wide strides, hair slicked back. He didn’t care about the rest of his family, or the house elf dragging his luggage besides him ; the mere thought of finally, finally getting away from this suffocating atmosphere made him shake in anticipation. The greetings around him were nothing but white noise, barely registering them as he bowed down.

“We’re going now”, announced Hongjoong before anything else, getting away in the general indifference.

San naturally fell into step with him, fending the surrounding bystanders. When they were a few meters away, shielded by the human wall, Hongjoong sighed.

“I can’t believe we were stuck in the ministry for so long”, he complained. “You’ve been here for a while, right ?”

“A bit. Hey, what’s with your eyebrow ?”

Hongjoong touched it, feeling the cross of skin where there should be hair.

“Oh, that. I thought it looked cool, so I trimmed it. Pretty badass, right ?” he smiled, cheeky.

San raised an eyebrow. He was not having it. Hongjoong frowned, and lowered his voice, dejected.

“Okay, okay, maybe that was a spell that backfired.”

“What ?” tensed San, nervously looking around. “You’re not supposed to do magic outside. You-”

“I know”, he hushed, “but I really needed to get that… phone… thingy and the damn lock wouldn’t budge and-”

“What do you mean a phone ? What lock ? Did you  _ actually  _ rob a muggle store ?!” he furiously whispered.

Hongjoong half-heartedly shrugged without even trying to look guilty. San sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“One thing at a time. Why would you need a phone ? Do you care about muggles all of a sudden ?”

“That’s not it, I needed it to do something, I don’t care about it in itself”, he argued, defensive.

“Then what did you need it for ?”

Hongjoong went silent, avoiding his gaze, and that was unusual. More than confused, San was now worried.

“You can tell me, I won’t tell our parents that you touched muggle stuff. It’s fine.”

“That’s not about it.”

“So… What is it about ?”

He huffed, crossing his arms, and San was sure he closed off for good but then he inched closer.

“You remember that guy in Ravenclaw that helped me with that history assignment in the library that one time ?”

San closed his eyes, trying to remember when that happened. It wasn’t really noteworthy. Hongjoong never talked about it afterwards, or that guy for that matter. Who was he again ?

“Park Seonghwa, a year above us ?” he tried, collecting every information he knew about him. Tall, handsome, quiet, half-blood, from a heavily muggle background, good reputation and results but no status. Best to avoid contact with him when possible.

“Yeah. Him. He has a lot of cats at home, so, the letters sent by owls aren’t very reliable.”

Hongjoong still refused to look at him. San blinked, the gears in his head running at full steam.

“You’re talking to him ? Outside of school ? And you stole a phone for this ?”

“Whatever, he’s just helping me on some stuff to get ready for this year”, he waved off, walking again.

“Are you… did you.. become friends when I wasn’t looking or something ?” wondered San, catching up to him.

“No ! We’re just- he’s helping me with the next chapters, I told you”, he groaned, starting to get angry. “Stop asking. I know how you feel about it.”

“About what ?”

“Me talking with a random half-blood.”

“I never said anything about it”, San opposed, almost hurt. “I don’t mind if you talk to him.”

“So why do you never talk to mudbloods ? Even when they talk to you ?”

“Because it’s me”, San answered, feeling cornered, and what he just said sounded way worse pronounced aloud than in his head. “It’s not personal but I- I can’t. What if someone saw and then there were rumors and my parents knew ? Or what if-”

“Right, I don’t want anyone to know, so stop talking about it”, Hongjoong asserted, abruptly stepping away. “I gotta go. Got stuff to do. See you in our wagon.”

And just like that, he left San alone in the sea of people. His jaw tensed, and he inspired slowly to calm down. He didn’t like what he insinuated, but he kind of pushed him when he was clearly uncomfortable and he could see why he would think that.

Because, maybe he did think that Hongjoong shouldn’t hang with this Ravenclaw guy. Maybe he did think that he should care about blood and status. But it wasn’t because he believed in those values, only because he knew of the consequences. He was young, but remembered when his aunt was wiped clean from his family tree for marrying the wrong guy. How, now, no one spoke her name and photos were folded to hide her. How her own family made her disappear when they were supposed to love her. He remembered, the sight burned in his retinas, the time she came to them crying in hopes to see her brother only to get slapped and thrown out. He remembered everything. And he didn’t want to be next.

He looked around, wishing in vain for Hongjoong to come back. He had a fiery temperament, but always managed to deal with the fallout responsibly. San knew he wouldn’t be back before he fully cooled off. Because he cared. He probably cared about that guy, too. He tried to hide it, but he was nice, always trying to make things better for everyone, and San admired him a lot for that. There was a chance that he was scared, too, but he talked to whoever he wanted nonetheless. He did what he thought was right. This was the kind of person San wished he would become.

Suddenly, a loud slam made him look behind him, jarring him out of his thoughts. He stared blankly at the scene, a group of older students against some kids his age. One of the youngest protected the other, putting himself in the middle like a shield, and San suddenly recognized him. A Gryffindor, like his actions proved. He knew his face, from staring a bit too much during the potion making when their classes where mixed. He also knew that he was born from a muggle family, because of the times he diligently used it as an excuse not to have any contact with him for the last year. Wooyoung.

The situation escalated, while San simply stood there, watching. He wanted to say something and get them out of there. But there was a lot of people around, and a lot of people involved, and his parents were here, and he couldn’t allow himself to take that risk. He felt the ghost of Hongjoong’s judgment looming over him. He knew he was being selfish, but what else could he do ? And it was nothing more than a verbal assault. It wasn’t  _ that  _ bad.

But then it got physical and it  _ was  _ that bad. Screw the blood and all of that. He didn’t believe in it. He could be better. He was going to be.

“Are you fighting before the year even began ? Should I report it to your prefects ?” he loudly said, stepping in, letting his doubts behind.

The one that dared to grab Wooyoung dropped him down, letting him slam on the pavement. A cold fury slowly took over him.

"We’re not the problem here ! They destroyed our luggage", snapped one of them.

"And that makes it okay to bully pre-teens ?" bit back San, feeling ready to break some bones.

"We weren't bullying anyone, it's that little sh- I mean- He hit us first", whined a girl.

San almost winced at how offended he felt on their behalf. Even in this situation, she choose to insult him. He was not going to let that go. He had to make sure they would back down, and more importantly, not try to settle any loose ends later. There was nothing worse in a school than having someone out for you. Digging in his memory, he relaxed just enough to show he was in control, not so much that he would lose his grip on them.

"I'm sure your father would be quite disappointed to hear that you have to resort to lying to hide your deviant ways. What about you, Peter Shawk ? I heard your sister really needs that subvention from the ministry. It would be a shame if word came out that she was associated with a delinquent. Surely, you don't want that to happen. Please think more about your actions." 

It had the effect he hoped for, like every time. They quickly gave up, running off, intimidated by his position. They always did. Maybe it was only fair, that if he saw them as a status, it worked the other way around too. Now that the emergency had been dealt with, he finally allowed himself to look at Wooyoung. He was still on the floor, openly staring at him, but it didn’t feel like the fearful or envious ones he usually experimented. His round eyes, clearly visible in the middle of his soft face, had stars in them. Some of his resolve died down. It was something he had secretly hoped for, but now that he was there, he wasn’t sure that was what he really wanted.

“... Hi”, said Wooyoung, and, oh boy, here it was, no turning back now.

He tried to collect himself, still checked around him that there was no one watching them after the comotion, and finally, listened to his instincts and extended a hand to help him up.

“Hello. Don’t stay on the ground. It’s dirty.”

Wooyoung took his hand, making San break in a cold sweat. Or hot sweat. Or both. Either way, that was a lot to take in and he needed time to process. Time that was going way too slow, or quick, and why where they still holding hands in public with his parents a few meters away ? He let go a bit harshly, and Wooyoung made a face. Great, now he felt double bad.

“My name is Wooyoung”, he said, and San had no idea whether to be thankful that he went past the awkwardness or desperate that he had to be in this position any longer.

“I know”, he dumbly said, forgetting that he was not supposed to hint at his stalker tendencies. “I’m Choi San.”

“Well, nice to meet you ! Thank you for helping us.”

His smile radiated a light so powerful San swore he almost went blind for a second. It was devastating. How was he supposed to go on with his normal life, knowing that he would never get to experience it so close again ? Burned by the sight, he turned his head. That was not what was supposed to happen. He couldn’t do this.

“I… didn’t. They were being a nuisance.”

“I like the way you talk. It’s like in books, it’s pretty”, Wooyoung said, a bit pensive.

San froze. He fought it with all he had, but the words still found their way to his brain. He  _ likes  _ it. He thinks it’s  _ pretty _ . That was random, but most importantly, that was sincere. He thought… Something about him was pretty. Nobody told him that before. His ears and cheeks started to burn, and he prayed for it not to be visible. He couldn’t allow himself to feel like this for a weird compliment. He couldn’t have any kind of feelings other than negative about him. He shouldn’t even be talking with him-

“I- I’m sorry”, wavered Wooyoung, looking guilty for some reason.

This shouldn’t be happening. But he was there, and it was a first step, and maybe he could reach a middle ground between his parents and his beliefs. He only had to believe in it. Gathering what little of bravery he had left, he talked again, carefully scanning for any eavesdropping ears.

“If someone bothers you again, come to find me. I’ll help you. For real this time.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry for me or stuff like that, I don’t want to be a burden or anything…” panicked Wooyoung.

He had only known him from afar, but he already knew how selfless he was. He wanted to give a little back. Maybe see him smile again. He frowned, frustrated. Where was his mind going ?

“It’s fine. Really.”

“But-”

Hongjoong’s small frame appeared behind Wooyoung, and San almost dropped dead this instant. That was it. Nothing to be done. He immediately turned around, said goodbye, and made a beeline for the train to avoid confrontation. But of course, Hongjoong was there out of nowhere to grab his arm and stop him in his tracks.

“San ? Where you talking to a mudblood ?!” he gasped, shocked.

He hushed him, motionning frantically to keep the volume low.

“That was a one time thing !”

“I… I actually can’t believe you did it.”

San finally noticed how dazed Hongjoong was, mouth slightly agape and faraway eyes. He felt the need to justify himself.

“I just broke up a fight, it wasn’t like I had a lot of choices, and, anyway, let’s… not discuss it.”

Hongjoong frowned, his eyes getting back into focus, and thought for a little while before letting go of San’s arm, at peace.

“I was wrong about you. Sorry about earlier. I didn’t think what I said.”

“I’m sorry too. I should respect it when you don’t want to talk.”

Hongjoong smiled, and just like that, everything was right again. At least that was what San repeated to himself as they climbed on the train for their new year. Everything was back to normal. Like nothing happened. It was the same.

Useless on his lap, the hand that held his was telling him the contrary.


	3. Potions

Potions weren't Wooyoung's forte. Well, nothing really was, if he had to be honest. Even Quidditch, the one he should have been good at since PE was his favorite period during his muggle days, asked for too much focus and quick thinking. But potions, potions were probably the worst. Not necessarily because he was bad at it, but because of the students. Or maybe one student.

Once again, his distracted gaze went to the Slytherin side of the classroom, latching onto a table a bit behind his. There, two students carefully followed the steps for the brewing. He watched delicate hands skillfully cut the ingredients, swift and perfect motions masterfully executed.

He didn't know when it started. Maybe it was more of a gradual escalation that led him to this point. At first it wasn't that bad, he simply noticed him a lot. And who wouldn't, really ? His aura demanded attention. It wasn't unusual for anyone to stare at him in fearful awe and look away when you could get caught. It was normal. So he didn't question it.

But then he met his eyes once or twice and the burning sensation on his face couldn't be only due to admiration or shyness. The way he felt pierced by his sharp gaze, the way he wanted it to happen again and was afraid of it at the same time, the way he looked for him when he knew he was around, the way he thought about it even when he wasn’t there. All those ways that only told him he lost himself.

His first crush, and it was on Choi San.

However, he wasn’t nearly delusional enough to have hope. Ever since the incident at the station, he had heard quite a bit about him. Enough to hurt him, anyway. When Jongho told him about his issues with blood purity and status, he didn’t take it seriously ; after all, didn’t he help him in public back then ? Didn’t he talk to him like anyone else ? But now that he knew, some things started to make sense, and he didn’t need more proof that it was a dead end. He probably wouldn’t ever talk to him again, so why even bother.

His hands turned into fists, but he didn’t look away. San was crushing some plant in a mortar, the regular motion barely interrupted so that he could point out to his partner the next steps. His hair, carefully swept back, had a few loose strands caressing his forehead. His lips were a little pinched, his brow furrowed, totally immersed in what he was doing. Of course, he would never reciprocate his feelings. He would never even be his friend. But even knowing it, it felt so good to simply look at him. He was beautiful, intelligent, skilled on every level. When he smiled at a joke, it turned his legs to jelly and made him wish he was the one to make him laugh.

Sometimes, his mind wandered, making him guess what it would feel like if that was the case. If, despite every logical proof, he was the cause of one of those rare, precious smiles, if it was directed at him. But he never went too far, clinging to reality so that it would hurt less. For the time being, he was in a comfortable in-between, too deep to dismiss it but not enough to be concerned by it. He knew that those fantasies were just that, and he knew that there was no future where it would be more than a silly secret crush.

San suddenly looked up, immediately meeting his eyes. Lighting coursed through his nerves. In half a second, he was bent over his cauldron, shaky hands grabbing his desk and determined to pretend it didn’t happen, closing his eyes to subdue the shock.

Because he knew that San would never want to be close to him, but if he had to be absolutely honest with himself, deep, deep down, he wondered. He wondered if those times he gets caught are because he was staring too much or if San wanted to look at him. He wondered why he saved him that day on platform 9 ¾. He wondered if it was really a coincidence that they always sat facing each other across the tables for the meals. He wondered if all those little, insignificant happenings were all devoid of meaning. But then he remembered that he was a nobody, without even good grades as an excuse despite his efforts, and that San probably hated him only for his birth, and it helped him stifle those ridiculous thoughts until their next interaction.

He knew it was already dead, but it was distracting.

That’s when the potion blew up in his face.

Wooyoung stepped away, coughing, his partner groaning in frustration. Every student in the room stopped to look at them.

“I  _ told you  _ to put the ginger root in while I was mixing the lizard’s eyes !” complained Hyunjin, this close to losing it. “That’s all you had to do ! I made sure you couldn’t fail, so why- You know what, forget it.”

“I’m sorry”, he whispered, miserable.

Hyunjin yanked the cauldron to his side, checking if it could still be saved, and Wooyoung couldn’t blame him for being mad. It was already the third time this semester he messed up the potion. He had always been trying his best to be patient and gave him chance after chance, but everybody had their limits. It would’ve been bad enough as it was, but the teacher intervened, walking up to him.

“Jung Wooyoung, I see you have once again produced some… explosive results.”

Wooyoung bit the inside of his cheeks, the fire of his shame leaping on his face. It wasn't supposed to happen again.  _ Again _ . He had been working so hard to make it, not perfectly, but at least  _ pass _ . And here he was, with that stupid mistake, once again singled out. Those hours he spent after class, trying to make up for what he lacked ? Useless.

"I don't think you're going anywhere like this", sighed the professor, sadly shaking his head, the same look of disappointment his father had on his face. "It's simply not working."

"I'm sorry", he managed to squeeze out, this close to sobbing when he heard a snicker in his back. "I didn't mean to. I really tried."

The professor sighed again, looking around, before seemingly coming to a conclusion.

"Okay. Wooyoung, Hongjoong, you're switching places."

Wooyoung looked at Hongjoong. At San, right next to him, eyes so round and shocked it was almost comedic. If Wooyoung wanted to disappear a second before, he now had the very real desire to run out of the classroom with a continuous shriek.

"Why ?!" asked the two boys, Hongjoong understandably upset, Wooyoung close to dead inside.

"Because I said so", he asserted, and it was enough to make the slytherin look down, but not for the other, still silently praying with his eyes, hoping that he could come into his mind and read just how a terrible idea that was. It didn't work. "Choi San is the best in this class and will help him with the basics."

Wooyoung closed his eyes. That was it. This was how it ended. The fragile balance of maybe-something he liked to imagine between them, shattered in an instant. Not only did he make a fool out of himself, as usual, he now had to actually interact with him. And fantasming it felt nice, but he wasn’t ready to have his dreams crushed by a wall while going full speed.

Walking to his new table under the stare of the students made him feel like his limbs were weighed. He didn’t look at anyone, most importantly not at San, and made himself the smallest possible so that he wouldn’t bother him. Slowly, the surrounding tables resumed their activities. Not San. Wooyoung braced himself for the worst.

“Are you okay ?...”

Wooyoung looked up, surprised. It was hard to maintain eye contact, but he forced himself. He was going to act normal to the best of his abilities. The only thing worse than ruining San’s lesson was to be a stuttering mess.

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you”, he tried with a smile, leaving San no less worried.

“... You look like you’re going to cry.”

He didn’t know how to deal with this. He was ready for a complete, absolute rejection, and yet here he was, caring about things as stupid as him feeling bad. Hope started swelling in his chest, just like the tears in his eyes. It wasn’t what he feared, but he didn’t want this either.

“It’s fine, I, I’ll just stay there and… I won’t touch anything. I won’t mess up your potion. I know it’s important for you.”

San seemed ready to say something, but closed his mouth and turned around, Wooyoung's head snapping back down. That was the very least he could do : get out of his way. The table besides them seemed to agree with that thought.

"I can't believe Choi got stuck with the worse student. He must be so mad", said a whisper.

"Right ? Remember when that girl smeared ink on his paper ? He was  _ pissed _ ", continued another. "That guy is dead if he breaks San's perfect streak with potions."

"Gryffindors, I swear. At least it wasn't us that got stuck with him."

Wooyoung wanted to get out of the classroom, maybe lock himself in the restroom to spend his tears in peace. It wasn't the first time this kind of thing happened, but this time, San was involved, and suddenly everything was amplified. Was that what they warned him about when they gave this talk about puberty ?

"Take this."

Wooyoung looked up through his blurry vision. San was holding out a small bottle used for the concoction. Dumbfounded, he stared at it for a bit before understanding that he meant for him to actually participate. As the realisation reached his brain, he vehemently shook his head.

"No. No no no. I can't do this, I'll mess up again. I really don't want to hurt your grades..."

"I'm supposed to help you", he insisted, brows furrowed. "I'll stay with you for every step. If you mess up, it means that  _ I  _ did."

Wooyoung looked at his shoes, nervously tugging at his robes. Why was he even trying to make him do the assignment ? He perfectly could have ignored him and completed it alone. He had the skill for it. And yet, here he was, determined gaze locked onto him. Wooyoung breathed in through his nose, ready to decline one again his invitation.

"You don't think I can lead you through it ?" asked San, and it almost sounded like a challenge.

Startled, Wooyoung looked at him. Was he mad ? Insulted ? Hurt ? It was so hard to tell with his frozen expression.

"No, of course you can."

"So take this and do as I say."

Defeated, Wooyoung nodded, and started to follow his instructions, petrified by the thought of his failure. If it wasn't for San always watching over him and rectifying his position, he would've already blown up something. But he was always there, hovering around him while doing the most complex parts of the brewing, catching every move that could go wrong.

"Keep your hand low when you crush them. No, lower."

"Okay."

"Did you check if the powder is expired ?"

"Oh- I- I'll do it."

"Keep your workspace clean. You'll get lost otherwise."

"Yes, right away."

He kept being bossed around, but somehow, everything he produced turned out fine. Not perfect or even nice, but fine. Perhaps he could save this situation from total destruction against all odds. He had thoughts about how cool San was, focused and critical, sharp gaze slicing everything out of line, but he kept them to a minimum. Everything depended on how well this potion would turn out and he was NOT going to miss this chance.

"And now ?" he asked, finishing to clean up the mortar.

"Now, you take a break", informed him San, slowly stirring the purple goo in the cauldron. "We've got to let it simmer."

"Luckily, I already know how to do nothing", he joked, smiling for the first time since the beginning of the period.

His partner didn't smile back, his eyes going slightly wide. Wooyoung wished he could facepalm. Onto the floor. With his whole body. Yes, great idea, tell your crush carrying you through the task as your first interaction that you are  _ literally good at nothing _ . Pure, unaltered genius. He'd better find something to say to make him forget it.

"I-"

"Why didn't you ask me for help ?"

Wooyoung paused, surprised. San's perfect mask of indifference had cracked. There were things on his face he didn't understand - worry, sadness, pain, bitterness. They were mild, but compared to his usual composure, it was shocking.

"What ?" he dumbly said, unsure about what he should have needed help with. Did he miss a step somehow ? Was he expecting him to ask for assistance on  _ doing nothing _ ?

"At the beginning of the year I told you you could come to me if someone bothered you", clarified San.

So he remembered. Wooyoung's ears started to get hot.

"And I saw what happened behind the astronomy tower when you lost ten points to Gryffindor, but you never told me about it. Why ?”

Memories came flooding back. He had a pretty bad streak of poor performance at some point, and some of the more driven students of his house took it very badly, cornering him alone. It was only meant to scare him into behaving, and even though it had been terrifying, no actual harm had been done. So he had taken it in stride, and never talked about it again. It made no sense that San knew about it.

“Was it because you thought I couldn’t do anything about it ?” kept going the Slytherin, stirring a bit slower now, fully facing him.

“No, it was… I didn’t even consider it. I didn’t think you were serious about it. I don’t know ! I can’t even imagine walking up to you and striking a conversation, so talking to you about personal stuff like that… It doesn’t even cross my mind.”

San frowned harder, Wooyoung panicked.

“How did you know about it ?” he blurted out without thinking.

Wooyoung couldn’t believe what was happening in front of him. Right there, San, cold, controlled San… had a blush spreading on his cheeks. He didn’t look away, only thinning his lips like he was fighting something inside of his mind. Maybe he could have thought about what it meant, but for the time being, he was too engrossed in the scene unfolding in front of him, so close. Those images would be spinning in his head for the weeks to come, he knew it.

“Who cares !” he finally decided, mixing harder. “I want you to tell me if there is something wrong. I’m serious. Don’t stay there taking it, actually do something. Even if it’s just reporting it.”

“You’re busy and I’m not really…”

“It wasn’t a suggestion, Wooyoung.”

Hearing him say his name made his knees weak. Every protest died on his tongue, and instead, a large smile bloomed on his lips. He was fine talking with him. It wasn’t so clear-cut after all. Maybe… Maybe it wasn’t really dead. Maybe.

“Thank you”, he grinned at him, sincerely happy. “You’re really nice.”

San jolted, his ladle poking the bottom of the caldron, the impact coursing through the metal breaking cleanly the link of a chain, the potion splashing on the floor, spreading the rapidly turning green potion up to the next students. A deadly silence fell on everyone in the room. San was incredibly pale, way more than usual, frozen in place. Wooyoung thought faster than he ever did, snatching the ladle before all those eyes turned to them.

“I’m so sorry !” he screamed, gripping the metal rod. “I wasn’t looking ! I didn’t know it would break if I turned too hard !”

“What ?...” whispered San, still under shock.

Ironic claps and grunts started to rise, along with commentaries he expected and others I-told-you-so’s. Wooyoung steeled himself.

“Wooyoung, what is it this time ?” groaned the teacher, clearly tired by his antics.

“I broke it, I’m sorry”, he said without hesitation, which was enough to bring back San from the dead.

“No you didn’t”, he exclaimed. “He didn’t !” he repeated, directed to the teacher this time. “I’m the one that broke it.”

“San, it’s very nice of you to try to protect your friend, but he has to learn to take his responsibilities. Gryffindor, say goodbye to five of your points.”

Protests came from the red side of the classroom. San was suffocating from indignation. When their eyes met, he saw the rage inside his directed towards him, and he felt something shatter in his chest. So that’s what it felt like, he thought. Heartbreak. He understood why it was called like that now.

“I’m not covering for him”, fought San, “I really am the one that broke it ! You can’t do this !”

“Choi San, don’t question my authority. I understand your heart is in the right place but if you keep at it I will be forced to punish you too.”

Behind them, whispers started rising. Wooyoung’s blood ran cold as San stiffened.

“So it only took half an hour with a loser to make him contaminated ?”

“I didn’t expect him to be so emotional about a random guy that can’t do anything…”

“By the way, isn’t the Gryffindor, like, a muggle-born ? I wasn’t expecting him of all people to be friends with.”

“The Choi family sure is spoiled…”

He hadn’t only made him fail for an assignment. Wooyoung squeezed his eyes shut, fighting against the slither of hope he almost believed that crumbled down into a difform monster. San’s aggressive reaction, the teacher taking away from his house, things people said. He couldn’t do this.   
  
He couldn’t.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered a last time before rushing for the door, blindly navigating the corridors to go in a restroom.

Now he had a good reason to cry.


	4. First Steps

San was seething. It took every bit of control he had left to not make a scene, and waited for the end of the lesson to walk up to the teacher. He wouldn't dare to have this kind of confrontation with any other teacher, but it was Mr. Eden, responsible for his house and always listening to their worries. Only Hongjoong waited for him.

"He didn't do it", he said without any introduction. "I'm not covering him, I really-"

"I know", he replied, unphased.

San, confused, put on hold his monologue explaining why and how Wooyoung was nothing more than a victim here.

"You knew ?" he repeated, suspicious. It sounded an awful lot like his mother when she didn't want to argue with him and just said whatever to get him to shut up.

"Of course I did", he sighed, fixing a pile of parchment on his desk. "You students really have no idea how much we see happening in our classes. It's way too much, by the way. I'm still scared for life by the upper years. God, those kids."

"Then why did you punish him ?!" San exploded, furious. "He already has enough issues with his house ! Who cares if I lose five points, I already won like fifty !"

"Do you know why he took the blame ?" asked the teacher, still calm.

He stopped, replaying the scene in his head. Wooyoung had smiled at him, his warm, bright smile he was so sure he would never experience again, and he got so flustered he actually broke his cauldron. Probably the single stupidest, clumsiest thing he had ever done in his life. And the next moment, Wooyoung had the laddle in hand, profusely apologizing. It had been his fault, through and through. The Gryffindor had successfully accomplished every step, even though he struggled the whole time. And when  _ he _ made a mistake, he pretended that was on him ? He was able to take his responsibilities. He didn't need someone to sacrifice themselves for his sake. He couldn't  _ believe _ he would sabotage himself just so he could basically cheat. It was maddening.

"I don't know", he bit back, still heated. "I didn't ask him to, he shouldn't have ! If I mess up, then I should be the one to pay for it !"

The teacher chuckled, amused.

"You're a very proud one, Choi, aren't you ?"

He thinned his lips, vexed. He didn't know if he was proud. What he knew however, was that he had honor, and letting Wooyoung get punished in his place didn't align with this.

"I just want things to be right, and it isn't."

"Let's see things differently. Your friend has issues with his house, right ?"

"He's not my friend."

It came out way too fast and dry. San clenched his jaw, feeling dirty.

"What do you think would have happened if he let you be the culpit ?"

"Well… I would've lost points."

"And ?"

"And Wooyoung… The Gryffindors might have liked it. The Slytherins… might have an issue with him."

"They would think it was because of him, right ?"

"... Probably", he admitted.

"Do you think there could have been some retaliation ?"

San was starting to feel uneasy. He looked down.

"I'm not saying that's why he did it", continued Mr. Eden. "In fact I don't think he was trying to save himself from anything. What I'm saying is, you should consider other points of view in those situations. I'm sure he didn't mean to make you upset."

San started to fidget, his righteous fury forgotten. It still felt wrong, but he wasn't so sure he knew what was right anymore. With a frown, he tried to make sense of it.

"Why… why did he do it, in your opinion ?" he finally asked, confused.

"Well, from  _ my _ point of view, that might be the wrong one… I would say that he likes you, and he doesn't want you to have a bad grade because it would make you feel bad. I think he was just trying to be nice."

"Oh, no. He doesn't like me."

It was an absolute affirmation. He was positive it wasn't the case. He had seen how his eyes turned evasive and fearful since their encounter at the start of the year. He felt how he tensed every time he got too close. The boy he helped back then was cheerful and comfortable, but he had vanished.

"You seem pretty sure about that, but looks can be deceiving. For example, did you know that Kim is laughing at you right now ?"

San whipped around, just in time to see the muscles on Hongjoong's face relax, body angled like he wasn't listening. Traitor.

"Anyway, I can see it's important for you to make things right, so I have a deal for you."

He turned back, interested. He wanted nothing more than that.

"I'm concerned about Wooyoung's grades. He's failing, and I can't help him without ignoring my other students, but he showed some great results with you. Thus, I would like to propose to you the following. You mentor him for the semester outside of class, and if he gets passing grades by the end of the year, I will get you 20 points for Slytherin and 25 for Gryffindor, erasing what happened today and rewarding you for your efforts. Plus, some inter-house collaboration is always welcome. I would let you my classroom for studying. Does it seem fair to you ?"

San froze. He felt almost physically his will split into two clean parts. One one hand, it meant an excuse for some alone time with Wooyoung, a one in a lifetime opportunity. It would make things right with him regarding this incident, and he knew Wooyoung already spent time to work on it anyway. He saw him late at night trying to understand the basics. It was so often that he sometimes would pass by this corridor on purpose to get a glimpse of him. He wouldn't need this anymore. Instead he could actually find him there, and help him, and not worry about the eyes on him.

But on the other hand… it meant actually talking to Wooyoung. Having an actual connection with him. He didn't want to be the type to be nice to someone in private and then ignore them in public. If he went through with it, and was friendly, then he wouldn't be able to hide it from the other students, and if  _ they _ knew, then  _ his parents _ knew. The thought choked him. How mad would they be that he tutored a mudblood ? That he was  _ friends _ with him ? Would they even let him go home for the holidays ? Would they tell him to break it off ? He couldn't do this to someone as sincere and earnest as Wooyoung.

"Choi", softly called Eden. "Is there something you want to tell me ?"

Fear must have been painted on his face. San closed his eyes. He couldn't say that. He knew what was right, what he had to do… and was so ashamed to admit that he wasn't brave enough to do it. Wooyoung would have done it. He always threw himself in the face of danger if it was for someone. Maybe that's why he took the blame.

"His parents are gonna flip out if they find out that he's hanging with a muggleborn."

San, startled, turned around. Hongjoong had joined him, arms crossed around his chest, defiant.

"I-"

"He wants to do it, but he's scared he'll get punished at home."

He didn't dare to look at his teacher. His shame was akin to a swamp, trapping him slowly, rendering him incapable to breathe. He knew it was wrong. He didn't want this.

"Is that true, San ?"

He felt tears prickle his eyes when he forced himself to nod. His friend's small hand fell on his shoulder, only comforting him a little. How shitty was that ? Wooyoung just made his situation worse for his sake, and he wasn't strong enough to do the same. He didn't even have to think about it. He was a good person.

San wasn't.

He wanted to be.

Wanting meant nothing if he did nothing in that sense.

"Don't cry", said the teacher, concerned. "I understand the situation you're in. You're not the first with… assertive… parents. You can be your own person."

"No, I can't", whispered San, voice hoarse.

"Maybe not yet, maybe not in front of them, but deep down, you already are. You're a good kid, San. It's going to be hard, but I know you can make it. You're one of the best Slytherin out there. Cunning, determined, ambitious. If you have a goal, I don't doubt a single second that you will reach it. Don't doubt yourself either."

San swallowed, trying to believe what he just said. True, he had determination. He knew what he wanted and what he needed to accomplish to get it. But this time… the stakes were higher than a grade.

"If you feel like you should start tutoring Wooyoung, I can talk to the other teachers and arrange your timing so that you could do it in secret. I don't want you to act recklessly, once again, I understand your situation. If you feel like this is too much, don't do it. It was only a proposition to appease you and help Wooyoung."

"I'll do it."

"What ?" hiccuped Hongjoong, surprised.

"Are you sure ? You don't have to."

"No, you're wrong", he answered, finally looking up. "I have to. I have to, because it's the only option that I won't regret for the wrong reasons. Maybe it will go terribly, but at least it will be because I did the right thing. I- I have to do it. I have to do  _ something _ ."

Silence fell on the room, San feeling the weight of his words on his tongue. He was still scared. Right now, he was trying to focus on the present and forget about the future and the consequences. No plan, no safety ; this was usually Hongjoong's style. He was going to wing it. Maybe his brother would give him the help he desperately needed.

"Alright then, we just need Wooyoung's approval and I'll set up your periods accordingly. I'll let him know next time-"

"I'll tell him."

Wooyoung would never accept if he didn't make things clear with him. He remembered how scared he was when he got paired up with him, how he repeated that he didn't want to mess up. How devastated he looked when they locked eyes before he ran away. The memory made his stomach twist. He had to make him smile again. He  _ had to _ .

Mr. Eden slowly nodded, surprised by his sudden change of heart. Hongjoong looked at him like a second head grew out of his neck. It was abrupt, but if he took too long to think about it, he would chicken out.

"In fact, I'm going right now. Thank you for this opportunity."

"O… kay. If there is anything bothering you, or you need to talk to someone, remember that I'm here. You're free to come anytime."

"I'll remember. Thank you."

And with a bow, he was out of the classroom. Hongjoong grabbed his arm while they walked in the empty hallway, confused.

"What just happened ?!"

"I don't kn- can we  _ not _ talk about it ? I’m trying to focus here."

"No we can't not- I mean- San, are you going to be okay ?"

San bit his lips, slowing down.

"I don't know", he said quietly. "But that's what I was supposed to do, right ?"

"I don't know", sighed Hongjoong, pressing his arm, trying to be comforting. "It's dangerous. I didn't expect you to say yes. I think… you made the right decision, though."

"I think so too", said San, his shoulders relaxing. Having Hongjoong by his side made him feel better. "Would you come with me to talk with Wooyoung ?"

"Of course. Why did you want to tell him yourself ?"

"I'm afraid that there's been a misunderstanding", he said, picking up the pace. "He will probably decline if I'm not the one to expose the situation."

"So you want him to do this ?"

"Obviously. I wouldn't have said yes otherwise."

"Hey, can you be honest with me for a second ?"

They stopped in their tracks, Hongjoong too serious to ignore. San frowned.

"Yes ?"

"You know where we're going, right ? I mean to find that guy ?"

"Well, yes."

"He left crying without telling anyone where he was going, and you know where to go ?"

"He always goes to the same bathroom when he's crying."

San realized his mistake as the words left his lips. His friend's eyes thinned.

"And you know that  _ because _ ?"

"Because I-"

"Don't even think about lying, Choi San. I asked you to be honest."

San licked his lips. Here it was, the leap of faith. Hongjoong spent some time with Seonghwa this year at the library to study. He said he made the right call with the tutoring plan. Their families were similar, he would understand the struggle. It was safe. He checked if the hallway was empty before answering, voice low.

"Okay, I'll be honest. I've noticed him since first year. I think he's nice. I've wanted to be his friend for a while. And help him. He has so many issues, how come someone so kind attracts so much trouble ?"

"I don't know, isn't he kind of dumb ?"

San shoot him his darkest glare, Hongjoong holding his hands up to seem more innocent.

"How would you know ?” San almost barked. “You don't care about other's grades !"

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but he's kind of the worse in our classes. I've literally been moved thirty minutes ago because of how terrible he was."

"He's doing his best, okay ?" groaned San, irritated. "And grades don't necessarily relate to intelligence. Also even if he was who cares ?!"

Hongjoong opened his mouth, and San read the thoughts in his eyes before he could say anything.

"You're-"

"NO-"

San slapped a hand on his face, crushing his lips and grabbing his collar with his free hand.

"Don't you dare Kim Hongjoong. Don't. You. Dare."

His friend muffled something against his palm, tugging on his wrist to get free, but it only made him press his fingers harder on his cheeks.

"I'm serious. I'm not telling you about this just so you could make fun of me. No joke, no innuendos, not even stares. I want to get to know him and have friendly conversations with him, and that’s it. So keep your fantasies to yourself.”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes with a groan before something wet slashed his hand. San jumped back with a screech, scrubbing his saliva-covered skin on his pants.

“EW ! Gross, gross ! You know I hate that !!”

“And that’s precisely why I’m doing it”, huffed Hongjoong, wiping his lips. “Now come on, we’ve got a Gryffindor to find.”

San recognized the exit his friend was offering him, and took it gratefully. As they started walking again, Hongjoong hit weakly his shoulder.

“You know I’ll always be there for you, no matter what, yeah ?”

“I know. I’m here for you too. No matter what.”


	5. Take his Hand

Wooyoung, slumped against his stool's door, was soaking his sleeves in his tears by rubbing his eyes. Between his hiccups, he tried to calm himself, and it was starting to work. He was too late for his History class, and really didn't want to ridicule himself anymore by coming late. Going to the nursery was probably the best course of action at that point.

Someone opened the door to the bathroom, and Wooyoung stopped breathing, hoping they wouldn't notice him. The last thing he wanted now was to be known as a crybaby.

"Wooyoung ?"

It was San.

Oh no.

He rolled himself into a ball, as if that could help. This was actually the worst case scenario. San seeing him like that ? Crying all alone in a stool after this fiasco ? It was a whole new level of pitiful. Still holding his breath, he prayed that his silence would be enough for him to go away. It wasn't.

Footsteps - _multiple_ footsteps - echoed in the otherwise empty bathroom, stopping in front of his door, a knock breaking the silence right above his head. He wasn't alone. What were they looking for ? Did they want to make fun of him ?

"Wooyoung, I know you're here. It's San."

A sob escaped him, blowing his last chance to pretend he wasn't there. He was scared, felt so low, couldn't deal with the idea of San leading some kind of public humiliation.

"Please don't", he squeezed out, voice broken.

"Don't what ?" said San, seemingly confused.

"Don't…"

Above the sound of his blood pumping in his ears, he managed to catch what seemed like rushed whispers for a few seconds before the silence came back.

"Yeah, that's it, I've had enough", said another voice, irritated. "Wooyoung, it's Hongjoong talking. You know, San's friend ? We're not here to beat you or something, so just come out, he wants to talk. If you don't I'll make you. Alohomora is a thing, you know."

"What- no you won't !" exclaimed San. "Wooyoung, he won't force you out. If now is not a good time, just tell me, and we'll talk later."

Wooyoung sniffed, once again erasing the trail of tears slashing his cheeks. They didn't seem as threatening as he first thought. Slowly, he raised back up.

"I'm sorry for your potion", he said weakly, voice shaking.

"Why would you be sorry when I'm the one that- ?!"

He sighed, irritated, and Wooyoung curled back a little.

"Look, I'm not mad. I just didn't get why you took the blame when it was my fault. That's it. I want to talk to you about tutoring."

Tutoring ? Well that didn't make any sense. But he seemed serious, and he couldn't make him talk to a door like that. Wooyoung put his hand on the lock, ready to open it, head low and eyes puffy.

"You won't make fun of me, right ?"

"Why would I ?"

"... I don't really look my best right now."

"I don't care about it."

They whispered again before something sounding suspiciously like a slap on the head made them stop. Wooyoung steeled himself. He could believe in him. He had never heard about any bullying rumour involving him. Intimidation, righteous anger ? Yes, but there was no animosity in his voice. And he had saved him once. He could put his trust in him. With a deep breath, he unlocked and opened the door, eyes stuck on his feet.

It was only them, and no one laughed. He felt his shoulders relax.

"Wow, your face is so puffy."

Ashamed, Wooyoung hid behind his hands just as San whacked Hongjoong's head.

"Shut up, Hong."

"Stop hitting me !"

"When you stop being a dumbass."

"Look who's talking."

"Don't listen to him, Wooyoung. He has no filter."

Wooyoung weakly chuckled, lowering his hands but still looking down, trying to hide behind his bangs. He knew he was red, but the reasons were slowly shifting from tears and embarrassment to embarrassment and gay panic.

"It's fine", he said, trying to smile.

"No it's not fine", bit back San. "Don't say it's fine when someone says something that hurts you."

"Sorry…" whimpered Wooyoung, smile turning into a pout.

San rose his hands halfway, letting them fall with a groan of frustration.

"Don't apologize-"

"Kids, let's focus here", exclaimed Hongjoong, clapping his hands. "We have tutoring sessions to discuss."

"Right", sighed his friend.

Wooyoung finally dared to look up. San was combing a hand through his hair, pushing it back, his eyebrows angled in a frown and his eyes closed. He was beautiful. Incapable of maintaining his gaze, he lowered it once again.

"So, here's the thing. I talked with professor Eden about what happened. He is willing to give you 25 points if you pass your next exam."

"That's… Not gonna happen", Wooyoung said, twisting his hands.

"Maybe not if nothing changes, but I’m willing to give you private lessons until we get there.”

“You would do that ?!” shocked, Wooyoung raised his head. “Why ?”

“Because he said that would grant me points too”, San immediately answered.

He realised his hopes had gone up right as his shoulders slumped in disappointment. Right. Of course he was in it because he had something to gain out of it. Why would he even talk to him otherwise ? _Get a grip, Wooyoung_.

“That makes sense”, he nodded, his eyes darting around before he found the courage to look at him again. “And you wouldn’t mind ? Tutoring me, I mean ?”

“Why would I ?”

Did he always have to be so intense when he talked ? The tension in his gaze was incredibly hard to fight. A few seconds passed, making him even more nervous. He had been very defensive up to that point, and he didn’t want to make him mad by saying something out of line. How could he present things in a neutral way ?

“Well, I’ve heard that… You know”, he vaguely gestured. “That you don’t really… want to spend time with… people like me. Because of my parents. Muggle parents.”

He could see the muscles of his jaw clench. Oh, god. How did he get to that point.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it”, chimed in Hongjoong. “He doesn’t mind. His parents though ? They would kill him. And I’m barely exaggerating here. So don’t go around saying stuff, and we’re good. Right San ?”

San was frowning, clearly upset, but nodded anyway, averting his gaze.

“I’m sorry you thought that I didn’t respect you. I don’t think you’re worth less than anyone, and, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. That was never my intention.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry, you never did anything, I just…”

Believed the rumors without asking himself if it was really true ? Stopped at appearances and called it a day ? Used it as an excuse because it was convenient to stop his feeling’s growth ? Wooyoung grabbed his wet sleeves and tugged at them, feeling sick. He messed up. Badly.

Hongjoong got between them, putting a hand on their shoulders.

“Great, so now that we agreed that no one hates anyone here, we can start fresh and go from there. San is okay with tutoring. Wooyoung, you’re in ?”

He breathed deeply, shaking off the confusion that came with the revelation that San did not, in fact, despise him by default. He was in no condition to make an enlightened choice, so for once, he followed his gut feeling without nitpicking.

“Yes, I’d love to. It would be really helpful”, he breathed out before he could think about it.

“That’s settled then”, declared Hongjoong, lightly patting them before taking a step back. “You’re lucky I’m here, both of you. If it wasn’t for me you would still be staring at each other in silence. You should work on your communication skills, it’s a disaster.”

San ignored him, focusing instead on Wooyoung. His eyes were still sharp, but something had softened inside. He started to space out, entrapped by his gaze. He knew that, at some level, he was panicking, but his mind was blank as he stared at the Slytherin. It felt like he could see beyond his pupils, actually look at him like no one ever did before, leaving him exposed and vulnerable but not afraid. Like that first time at the station, a comforting warmth left him reassured. He craved it so badly, this sensation he couldn’t explain, this connection he couldn’t feel any other way.

Without breaking eye contact, San held out his hand. A little low, a little hesitant. Wooyoung rushed to take it, stopped halfway in fear of being too desperate, decided that it didn't matter anyway before his fingers curled around his hand. Sparks ran on his skin, breaking his peace of mind into shards of flustered thoughts. San looked down at their hands, slowly closing his fingers around him, and when he came back to him again, a small smile tugged at his lips. His breath was taken away. He couldn’t fight the grin blossoming on his own face, because _San just smiled at him_. It was actually happening.

Oh god, it was happening.

Everything came crashing down on him at once, shattering his miraculous composure. San was holding his hand - well, more like shaking his hand, but - and he was smiling at him - the corner of his lips was slightly turned upward, that’s a smile right - and he was going to have tutoring sessions with him ALONE and he was HOLDING HIS HAND AND-

“You know what I just said about the standing in silence part ? It wasn’t an invitation to do it”, complained Hongjoong. “I get it, you’re both awkward, but come on. Use words.”

San shoot him a dirty look, and Wooyoung, free of his tension, remembered to breathe. When did he even stop ? He was so far gone, it wasn’t even funny anymore. The hand in his didn’t go away, and it reminded him of that first time, when San harshly let go. Was he holding on for too long again ?

“Let’s do our best”, said San, forgetting about Hongjoong once again.

“Y-Yeah, let’s do that.”

Wooyoung noticed him glancing at their hands, and, scared that he overstayed his welcome, loosened his grip to give him an out. San retracted his hand, startled, while Wooyoung’s brain was reeling, over-analyzing everything, slamming his arm at his side.

“This is so awkward, I’m cringing so hard, it hurts”, whined Hongjoong.

“You want to hurt for real ?” groaned San, turning away.

“It can’t be worse than that.”

“Challenge accepted.”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes, walking out of the bathroom, San staying a bit behind. He turned his head before leaving.

“See you next time.”

Wooyoung waved with a small smile, because that’s all he could muster, San immediately leaving. He was ready to relax when Hongjoong’s head peeked inside.

“And remember, not a word about it. San wouldn’t hurt you but if you mess with him, you mess with me, and I’m not as forgiving. Watch your mouth.”

With that, he disappeared for good.

Wooyoung melted on the floor, reduced to a puddle of feelings. That was way too much for a single day. He had enough for at least a month. And he signed for a repeat of this with tutoring ? What was wrong with him ??

"Oh no", he wheezed, slightly hysterical. "What have I done."

No, he wasn't going to cower now. When stars align, you make lemonade, or something. Anyway he was going to make the most of it. Starting with a trip to the nurse so that he wouldn't worsen his reputation.

The nursery aisle was empty, safe for a few beds in the back where the casualties from a very nasty quidditch match were resting. So when Wooyoung came in, Jongho immediately went to him, giving him a once-over and crossing his arms.

"Okay, what happened."

Wooyoung smiled with a fake laugh, hoping it would be enough to explain the swollen eyes and reddened nose. Luckily, Jongho huffed the issue away, preoccupied with something else.

"You know, you can't keep coming here and hope that I will excuse you from your next period. I'm trying to get a permanent place here, not being used as a hallway pass."

"I know, I'm sorry", he pouted. "Potions went really bad. Like, extra really bad."

"What, you poured your potion over your crush or something ?"

"Not _on_ him !" he protested.

Jongho raised his eyebrows, his neighbor hitting his forehead in frustration. He was not supposed to talk about the tutoring part, but the younger had a gift for getting him to confess things he wasn't even aware of.

"Come here", motioned Jongho towards a secluded bed. "Tell me what you did."

"You know what, maybe I'll just get to class late", decided Wooyoung, feeling cornered.

"No you're not, get your ass back here."

"Language ! And you're younger than me, you can't give me orders !"

"Get your ass back here, or I tell everyone about your imaginary friend Camellia McSuzy."

Wooyoung gasped.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me, bitch."

His will was made of steel. The madman was actually serious. Wooyoung considered what would be the worse, a beating from Hongjoong or being called McSuzy until his last year at Hogwarts.

"How can you blackmail me and not be a Slytherin ?" said Wooyoung, white as a sheet of paper, walking as Jongho wished.

"You shouldn't judge someone on their house, that's really reductive", he chastised him, closing the curtain between them and the world.

"You monster."

"So tell me. What went wrong with San ?"

"I never said-"

"Right, okay", said Jongho, rolling his eyes. "So what went wrong with your _unnamed crush that definitely isn't Choi San_."

"I hate you."

"Yet you keep on coming see me for help. You know I'll make you spit it out, so save us both the trouble and talk already."

Wooyoung sat on the bed, head between his hands.

"Okay. Okay, so, I got placed with him for the assignment."

"You mean your unnamed crush, which definitely isn't San ?"

"Yes", groaned Wooyoung. "Yes, him."

"Just making sure."

"Anyway he let me work work with him and it went… kind of… nicely ? He helped me and was very patient."

"Did you ugly cry because he talked to you ? Geez, Woo. You have issues."

"That's not it, he, hum, he broke the cauldron and then I took the blame for it.”

Jongho opened his mouth wide, ready to pick a fight.

“He betrayed you to save his ass ? Seriously ?! I’ll let him know a piece of my mind-”

“No no no, he didn’t set me up or anything, in fact he was really mad when I said it was my fault ! He even tried to explain it to the teacher. It’s not what it sounds like.”

“So why did you ? You had nothing to do with it.”

“I distracted him. And… well…”

Wooyoung started playing with the bed’s sheets, embarrassed to admit it aloud.

“I heard some students say things, and, I didn’t want him to get a bad rep. I’m already low, but him ? He has a spotless record ! It was just the best thing to do for him, you know what I mean ? I thought that maybe, if I did that, it could be helpful.”

It was Jongho’s turn to put his hands on his face.

“Oh, my god”, he groaned, voice muffled. “How did you survive so long with no survival instinct ? Why did you have to play the savior when there was absolutely no need to, what is wrong with you ?”

“But it’s fine, I think”, said Wooyoung. “He was upset at first but then when we talked again he apologized for it.”

“So he talked to you after this ? Like, outside of class ? I didn’t think he would talk to someone like you, was there a reason or something ?”

Wooyoung blinked. Usually, he would’ve told him everything, because as abrasive and blunt as his neighbor could be, he was also supportive and helpful when it mattered. But this time, there was something bigger on the line. He didn’t know anything about San’s family situation, but he knew what it was like, that fear of seeing how disappointed and tired his father was, of seeing his mother open another bottle of alcohol. He could feel his guts knotting themselves just brushing over the idea, and the thought of San, the San that smiled to him a few minutes ago, ending up in that kind of situation because he couldn’t keep it for himself was too much. Even if it was just Jongho.

“No, he just wanted to apologize. Then he left.”

“Really ?” insisted Jongho, suspicious.

“Yeah. That was really nice of him.”

Jongho squinted at him, and Wooyoung offered him his best poker face. It seemed to work, because the youngest nodded.

“So that’s why you cried ? Because senpai noticed you ?”

“Come on, I’m not that dramatic”, protested Wooyoung.

Jongho raised an eyebrow, making Wooyoung frown.

“I’m _not_.”

“Sure. So why ?”

“The others, when it happened… They weren’t as nice as him.”

Suddenly, Jongho softened, sitting besides him and taking out a paper from the nightstand.

“I’ll let you stay for the hour”, he said, filling out a form. “Try to rest as much as you can. I know it gets you tired.”

“Thanks.”

“You owe me, you know.”

“I know.”

He never claimed any of his debts anyway. It was just his own way of helping, and Wooyoung could see right through it. Maybe Jongho never hugged him, or said he loved him, but he knew he always had his back. So, even if he didn’t have any real friends in his year, he never truly felt alone.

When he was left alone on the bed, oscillating between slumber and consciousness, his mind drifted towards sharp eyes, soft hands and careful words. Safely hidden inside his chest, a flower started to bloom.


End file.
